Friday, October 24, 2014

Shon Eze (TDDG): Episode 4





Yes! This was all Chike’s fault. I kept repeating to myself as I drove home. The tears just didn’t stop coming down and I could hardly see a thing. I just needed to get into the comfort of my home, cry my eyes out to my heart’s fill without interference.

If I hadn’t set my eyes on Chike 2 years ago; If he had just chilled and not pestered my life until I agreed to go on a date with him; If he hadn’t been so hot and persistent, maybe I should have resisted him then; I’d have a chance for a normal relationship right now, I’d probably be married right now and Pops lil slut wouldn’t be setting me on dates with her “African” cousins. She didn’t even know me, yet she thought I couldn’t score a date. That had to be the biggest insult I have received in a lifetime.

If only Chike hadn’t been a shady, two-timing, cheating low-life insolent blind idiot that he was, I wouldn’t have known the cheap slut I ran into back at the club that even worsened my evening. So yes! It was all Chike’s fault.

I got home and saw Pops sitting on my sofa. Yeah right, I forgot he had a key to my apartment. I didn’t want to look at him because merely looking at his sitting posture, I knew he was feeling like shit. Well, newsflash! I felt like shit too, so it was totally okay for him to feel that way too.

I walked into my room and shut the door immediately.

“Kamso! I’m still sitting here and we need to talk“, I heard Pops say.

“There’s nothing to talk about with you. Go home to your Cuban American slut, you can have her with your Cuban cigars for all I care. Just leave me be!”

“You don’t use swear words around Pops, child!” My dad said.

I hated not talking to Pops but his bitch just brought everything crumbling down on me. Everything I had been avoiding for 5 months, all I had been hoping to get behind me with time was up in my face now because of her. I was going to leave him to stew there, that was his punishment for not having a hold over his woman.

I searched my phone looking for who to call, I needed to talk to someone badly. Danielle was a no-no, she’d only make matters worse for me, especially the Chike part of the story, I left her in the dark the whole time the affair was on and being the drama queen that she is, I’d spend the whole night begging her for forgiveness.

Oh God! I missed Chike! Especially nights like this. I’d have run to his house after the scene with Carmen and Walter, we would laugh it off like it was nothing, get high on his never short supply of coke and have mind blowing sex afterwards. I’d wake up in the morning and it would all be forgotten.

The temptation to call him was here again, stronger than ever. I hadn’t dialled his number since I walked out of his office. I would love to prank call him but I was sure his brat of a fiancĂ© would pick the call, so I dumped the idea.

My love for coke miraculously died with the affair, after all it was born with it, besides I had no idea who to call for supply as Chike was my supplier. OMG! Chike was indeed my vice.

I had to sleep anyway I could so I resorted to the old method, I picked Mum’s journal. The one she kept all her childhood till her separation from Pops. That was my 18th birthday gift from her. Weird right? But it was weirder for me cos I didn’t open it till I was 24, but it had been a mini-manual since then. I flipped through the pages, reciting some of the words I had learnt by heart till I I got drowsy and switched the lights off.

I woke up to the scents of baking… hmmmmm… Mom? I don’t think so! That woman hates surprises as much as I do, so she wouldn’t come to my apartment without my notice. Uhoh! Except Pops convinces her. Oh! God no! Please no! I can’t stand their combined prodding and pampering. Then Mom would scold Pops for letting another of his affairs rub off on me the wrong way, then he’d deny and tell her I was probably mad at my boyfriend before I met them up. Lord please! I don’t need of that this morning. In fact, I needed my apartment to myself.

What if it was Carmen and Pops? I thought to myself again. Hell to the No! A murder was going to go down here and I was so ready to go to jail. I was steaming with fury as I stomped into the kitchen. There was no sign of the Cuban American beauty I was in dire need to strangle. All I could hear this time was Pops trying to sing in my voice and a very familiar female laughter.

“Danielle!” I shrieked as I raced to the sitting room.

“Danielle! Normal young girls are in their homes this Saturday morning with their boyfriends or fiancees trying to think of the way forward in their relationships or trying to rest properly after a very hectic week. But no! You are in another young girl’s house uninvited, flirting unashamedly with her father. Where’s your shame?” I screamed as I walked in.

“Well, I was doing just that, till a certain young girl’s father, a Barrister whom I have a crush on, called me to come up and help him appease his hotheaded daughter. So it’s Danielle to the Rescue! I decided to bake her favourite muffins as well.” she teased back and hugged me.

“Hey Best Friend! So you’d jump up to my dad’s rescue without thinking twice or complaining, but I’ll have to book in advance to hang out with you? Nice! I think I should be pissed at my dad more often so I can see you even more often.“I turned to Pops,

“Good morning Pops. Please don’t tell me you spent the night on my sofa cos if you did, I’ll never forgive myself for punishing an old man that way, I won’t forgive Carmen and her lineage for putting me in such a foul mood and I won’t forgive you if you broke my dear only sofa.” I said with sarcasm.

“Oh young lady! You attach so much importance to yourself ; you’re so self absorbed, just like your father and I’m saying that in your mother’s voice. You know I love sleep too much for all that drama you’re bringing on. I didn’t have sleepless nights with your mother except while we were babysitting you and Jay, so I don’t think any other woman has such power to make me lose sleep now. So, sit your little self here and talk to Da-da.”

“Awwwww… that would have been the most romantic scene on earth if Mom was here. but unfortunately, you lack game, so she’s probably sneezing in her sleep and her husband, my darling step father is gently rocking her back to sleep.” I gave him the tongue-out face as I hugged him tight. I could never be mad at Pops and I wish he knew that.

“Enough of all these mushy shii. Although I must admit it’s so beautiful to see that Kamso has other emotions other than anger, rage and sarcasm if that’s an emotion. But I haven’t eaten today, and y’all know how much of a glutton I am, so if you can kindly quit the daddy-daughter drama and let’s eat, I’d be glad.” Danielle cut in laughing, “You both are just unbelievable. I can’t remember the last time my dad noticed if me or my twin were mad at him. Even if he sees fire flying from our heads, he’ll ignore us.” she continued.

We sat to eat and I devoured everything in sight. I couldn’t remember the last time anything was cooked in my kitchen. No matter how many times I promised myself food made by my hands, something always came up and it never happened.

“So Pops, what did you promise Danielle to get her out of bed into my kitchen this early?” I asked.

“Well, he promised to repair my car the next 5 times it has issues, sponsor my wedding whenever that is, and an open cheque.” Danielle replied.

“Jeez! You’re even worse then your friend, Danielle.” Pops answered, “Actually, nothing was exchanged, I just used my irresistible charms on her.”

“So now that you’ve bribed me with food and delivered my best friend to my doorstep, where’s your love?” I raised my hands in the air to show the air quotes on love.

“Yeah right! Do you know I have no idea why I was brought here to render my renowned catering services? So what went down with my favourite father and daughter?” Danielle chattered on.

“Well, Pops met this drop dead gorgeous Maami water and they were to go on a date yesterday, and I asked to join them cos I didn’t feel like hanging out with strangers. Apparently, she wanted her man to herself and she set me up on a blind date with her so called Nigerian cousin, whom I’m sure she’s banging but trying to fool Pops by passing him up as her cousin.” My hands were raised again to show the air quotes on cousin.

“Hahahahaha!! Oh my Lord!! She should have asked questions now. At least we would have warned her to insure her head before doing that. OMG! Muna will laugh so hard at this unfortunate new victim of your wrath since she’s free now. But really, she had guts o.” she turned to Pops, “Barrister were you aware that you’d be meeting your future son-in-law yesterday?” the stupid joker was enjoying every minute of this.

“Before God and man, she only told me she was bringing her Nigerian cousin with her, I had no idea whatsoever that he’s going to be my future son-in-law. If I knew, I’d have informed my lovely daughter o. But as it is, the lad in question is very good looking and even though my daughter thinks she’s invisible, I saw her staring at him several times longingly last night. So I know she has considered him as an option. I am however sure that they’ll make a beautiful couple and give me very beautiful and handsome grandchildren.” Pops had turned it into a joke as always.

“You both should be shot in the ass for making light of this matter.” I said as I got up to go into his kitchen. “Pops, you should kick Carmen’s jiggly ass and large tits to the curbs for pulling such a stunt.”

“Ahah!! So you admired her too and you’ve seen for yourself that I picked a goldmine this time yeah. Well I would have, but she said she’s deeply sorry and being the man of second chances, I have forgiven her.” he pulled the tongue-out face at me.

“Well, I hope she breaks your heart since you’re smitten and for making jest of your only daughter.” I replied.

“I see you are threatened by her and that’s a sign to show you like her. But I think you should focus more on your business with the lad, Walter. Don’t you think so, Danielle?” he turned to Danielle.

“Yeah! I think so too. I can’t wait to be Maid of Honour and then Godmother. Hehehehehe!!” Danielle replied.

Lawd!! Gawd!! I love these two noisemakers silly, but right now, I’d love to wring their necks to stop them from talking about Walter. I smiled as I remembered his gray eyes.

OMG! What in God’s name was wrong with me? Was my brain going soft this Saturday morning? Well, I think I’d just goof around with these jokers and forget about my man related issues for now, I thought as I walked back to the sitting room.

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